Leftovers #71
Girlification as a coping mechanism, tomato sandwiches, new book recs!
The prospect of camping or not one but two weekends in a row is extremely exciting to me. Even more so is the fact that I’ll be driving a car (thank you, Meggy!) tomorrow on the M4, something I haven’t been able to do since last year. I miss it so much. If anyone is selling a car let me know. I think I might have to be the Londoner who has a little Toyota RAV4 parked outside their flat (honestly I’ll buy pretty much anything).
I am passionate about a few things (chicken and rice, teen dramas, the sun) but one particular seasonal passion that arises each summer is the combination of tomatoes, bread and mayonnaise. I’m partial to a few lightly salted thick rounds of heirloom tomato on pretty much any type of bread as long as it’s crunchy and there’s lots of mayonnaise. Eric Kim’s furikake-laden homage to the Southern tomato sandwich for the New York Times (and his corresponding piece on its construction – essential reading!) was a dream to read. I particularly subscribe to any summerfied method of eating that involves standing over the sink so it catches all the juices. That, to me, is living.
The Official Tomato Sandwich is two slices of white bread (“Not toasted. Fresh, so it sticks to the back of your teeth”); a homegrown vine-ripe tomato (“Not peeled. Juicy so you have to hold it over the sink”); black pepper and salt; and “a sizable portion” of mayonnaise (“Not Miracle Whip”).
I’ve always been really obsessed with morning rituals – both my own and those of others. These days, my morning rituals consist of snoozing my alarm three times, cancelling my spin class, shoving tomatoes on toast in my mouth and sweating furiously on my broken bicycle. LA-based cook and writer Sonoko Sakai’s rituals sound a lot more calming. Here are hers via Canyon Coffee.
I hadn’t been to Padella since it opened in Borough in 2016, but a mid-week lunchtime jaunt lured me over to its Shoreditch restaurant to sit in near 27º heat and enjoy some bruschetta (tomato szn) and a plate of puttanesca and crab tagliarini. Actually so delicious and the portions sizes were bigger than I remember - always a plus. It’s on a nice and quiet street and there’s lots of outside space!
A tongue-in-cheek piece from The Cut on why negging feels like a significant flirting tactic - is it toxic? Is it hot?
For many women, the technique has come to define their flirting style of lightly mean repartee. In my own experience, even the arguments about whether negging is occurring or not are part of this coy debate. It only works if the subtext to what you’re saying is that I’m attractive and you care.
Another Cut piece but this time about the term gatekeeping (yep, definitely used that one before on here) which was interesting but even better led me to the Substack
which combines my love of curiosity for other people’s lives and narcissism whereby I think about how I would answer each and every question. There’s just something addictive about know how people live their lives and we cannot gatekeep that fact!Not usually one to cook fish that often, but I’m tempted by this confit cod cheek with a herby potato and butter bean salad; also not usually one to follow nutritionists but I like the look of this burnt lemon chicken and rice dish; more chicken and rice but in the form of a roast chicken and dill risotto (!!!); absolutely making this summertime fregola with courgettes and peas when I’m camping this weekend.
If you too are craving a tart salad dressing for your work lunch, here’s a recipe-not-recipe for a lime, miso and nooch dressing to drown a bowl of greens, shiso leaves, avocado and spicy salmon.
As someone who engages with the girlification of things (girl dinner, hot girl walks, hot girl summer, the above-mentioned ‘girl lunch’ that makes me completely complicit), I’ve probably not interrogated it as much as I could have so here’s a great piece from Vox that reframes them less as trends and more as marketing campaigns:
You could make the argument that pathologizing the things women and girls do smells a bit too strongly of gender essentialism; you could say that labeling normal human behavior as “girl-coded” only otherizes women in an already patriarchal world. But I would argue that both miss the point, because these supposed “girl trends” aren’t really trends at all. They’re marketing campaigns.
And then this piece for Vanity Fair by Delia Cai also got me thinking. She asks, have we reached peak girl? I liked how Cai frames this as an often unconscious obsession with not just girlhood but a “specific idea of girlhood that we are currently consumed by, everywhere we see: exuberant and hyperfeminine, playful and innocent—and therefore, almost always white.”
One of my favourite things I’ve seen this week is a clip from a news story on CBC about two Canadian women in their 90s who are still best friends and swim in their hometown river every morning. I texted Ky immediately and she replied “life is too short for us not to live near each other” and I cried and now maybe I’ll have to just move to Vancouver (Island…!).
I’m driving to Wales for a weekend of wild swimming, hiking and camping tomorrow, so here’s what I’m thinking of eating: sage fried eggs and avocados wrapped up in fluffy soft tortillas (mini sriracha in the Yeti); peach, feta and tomato salads with pickled red onions and lots of herbs soaked up with a baguette for lunch; courgette and tomato summer sad pasta and a gingery green lentil daal for dinner. In fact this is basically exactly what I cooked for a van trip in the Brecon Beacons two years ago and it was perfect - why change!
It is illegal not to each peaches and tomatoes in summer!!! Some things I don’t need but want to buy: this Alessi percolator; these crustacean shaped earrings by Aligheri (and also this fishbone necklace); this Danny D’s Mudshop lilac wine tumbler because (Jeff Buckley) but also because he might be my ultimate crush and his ceramics have finally come to London.
Yellowface by R.F Kuang is on my list of books to read: I’ve heard it’s a fantastic take on race in the publishing industry, Asian American identity and how living within the system can stop you from wanting to change it. Delia Cai (who wrote the Vanity Fair piece I mentioned) has also written a book called Central Places about an Asian American girl who moves from her hometown to New York then back home and tackles questions of identity and belonging – basically the conflict that plays on a loop in my head. It’s not out in the UK yet but it’s on the pre-order list!
And if anyone is interested in the East and South East Asian diaspora, my friend Helena Lee – founder of East Side Voices (the book, too!), incredible editor and writer at Harper’s Bazaar – has organised ESEA Lit Fest (the UK’s first East and Southeast Asian literary festival!) at Foyles Charing Cross on 23rd September. There are talks and discussions, workshops and readings on all day. I believe the day tickets have sold out but you can still go to individual sessions – maybe see you at Rowan Hisayo Buchanan’s creative writing workshop?
I am currently alone in the studio and I am playing this song unapologetically loud with the windows open!!!!
"combines my love of curiosity for other people’s lives and narcissism" lolollll. TYSM for the shoutout!!